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In a sudden come-to-Messiah moment, the Senate Republican Caucus and House Republican Caucus both agreed to request and approve light rail last night…

For Olympia.

Apparently my dear Republican friends want a Lynn Line* to run from the State Legislature to the Freedom Foundation at 2403 Pacific Ave SE because well, Republican legislators & staff alike can’t get their think tanks to the legislature fast enough.  Riding a bus for 24 minutes is too slow for these people who want CONGESTION RELIEF (TM).  No, Sound Transit is so cool say their Husky grandchildren that now the grandpas & grandmas want their own subway like Congress does but will settle for light rail!

However, leading Senate Democrat Marko Lilias demanded in return that Sound Transit get $20 Billion in taxation authority for ST3 and it’s passage the only permit required to start building!  Furthermore, Mukilteo is to receive light rail all around Paine Field on the Jenn Line and the ribbon cutting is being planned at the Plaza to the Future after the Mayor flies in her own 777 to the future 777-8X “Sandy” Bus Stop.

Senate Republican Barbara Bailey also demanded $6 Million for Island Transit to keep fare-free and restore Island Transit to rosy health.  Senator Bailey’s seat was barely won against a vengeful old Democrat who was so bad she torqued off Seattle Transit Blog and got the boot after blockading Sound Transit too much.

The State Senate agreed, wanting unanimity on building light rail along Pacific Avenue for somebody else to think great thoughts for them on Thought Transit I.  Rumors that Thought Transit II which would link up Olympia with the Washington Policy Center’s SoDo office by building the necessary links with Sound Transit were delayed until 2030 and the starter set’s completion.  The State House agreed, provided voters could decide on amending the State Constitution to no longer require ample funding for education & Speaker Frank Chopp could get his light rail fix!

Governor Jay Inslee, so relieved to hear support for light rail and his beloved green agenda, decided to stay up well into the night swilling green tea.  Governor Inslee also gave a nod to using the emergency clause to make sure that no public vote would be possible on requiring more permits/red tape when moments ago Governor Inslee signed Thought Transit I into law.  Shortly thereafter, ST3 authorization was also signed into law.

The ribbon-cutting at Marummy Station for Thought Transit I just outside the legislature is planned for 1 April 2015 at 14:15 Hours.  All celebrants are requested to wear pink ties or pink sweaters to honour the greatest Washington State Republican staffer of all time… and her “Lane’s Legions” the AP picked up on.  After all, it’s the staff and lobbyists that run the legislature, not the politicians!!!!

The afterparty for the Thought Transit I ribbon cutting, by the way, is planned for Seafair on the log boom where 150 politicians – including the Governor – will get drunk until the Katie-Bird Flying Crossover goes so low as to blow them off their yachts which as this AvgeekJoe Photo proves is possible.  Patriots of all political parties will call it a good start!


 FOOTNOTE

*A tribute to Lynn Harsh, G*dmother of the conservative think tank movement in Washington State

4 Replies to “North by Northwest 53: BREAKING NEWS, THOUGHT TRANSIT I JUST PASSED!”

  1. Did Sen. Bailey really use the words “rosy health” to describe Island Transit, or did you embellish her description a little bit?

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